A Different look at Parenting Special Needs Kids

We've been studying in our Essentials of Coaching class about "Mindset" in regards to the Internal Barriers we have that are obstacles to getting to the places we want to be in life.  Gary Collins, in Christian Coaching notes that,

most of our perspectives on the world and on life are subconscious, influential, and well entrenched.  Often they are accepted without question as attitudes that come from our parents or from other significant people...These are the running narratives that go on in our brains- the in-grained, self-talk ideas that shape our attitudes and impact our actions...

These attitudes exist from the beginning of coaching but usually stay hidden until one starts talking about change.  The coach and the person being coached need to look for them, challenge them, and replace them with different mind-sets, such as, "I'm capable especially if I have support," "The world is really an okay place." "If I try and I flub, people will still accept me," and "It doesn't matter what the people in my neighborhood think, I'm going to do it anyhow."

What has struck me when reflecting on this is how one's mindset, as a parent of a special needs child is influenced by the many voices heard throughout life.  It is easy to see how they "don't measure up" when compared to what is "normal" but really, so often, what I've noticed is how right on they are about a lot of the truly  important things in life.  The kids I know with special needs work really hard and have such a great attitude, that comes so naturally.  I recently saw this picture on my Facebook newsline that spoke volumes to me:

The neat thing is, the tendency is that kids with special needs judge others less than what they are judged themselves.  They live in the "now" and have so much to teach us by their genuine love and honesty.  They accept people for who they are and do a much better job at living out the truth that we are all made in the Image and Likeness of God and acting that way in return. 

• Are you simply struggling through the day to day life with your special needs child and feeling as though you or they are "missing out"?

•  What are you learning about yourself as a parent of a special needs child? 

• What are your strengths/weaknesses?

• What are some mindsets that you may need to adjust in order to fully enjoy your life and your children, despite the challenges?

• What kind of support are you needing to help you overcome any obstacles you are facing, whether with your child's challenges, or simply navigating life as a parent and desiring more fulfillment for both of you in life?

• What do you make of the quote in The Talmud, "We don't see things as they are; we see things as we are"?

• How does your child with special needs make up a vital place in the Body of Christ?  

• How can you support your child in their growth, while also looking at your own growth?

Let's take some time to discover together, the unique gift you have been given as a parent of a special needs child.  I would be honored to join with you as we explore where you are now as a parent; where you want to go; search out how to get to where you want to be, while surmounting any obstacles you encounter along the way. 

Contact me today for your free introductory session and let's see what possibilities await you and your child!  Call 208-966-4338 or e-mail sheilamh67@gmail.com.

My Goal as a Christian Life Coach

A dear friend shared this picture with me on my Facebook page:

My prayer is that our time together is one that honors God and seeks His will for your life.

Parenting Issues

Whether you are a new parent, seasoned parent, or a parent of a special needs child, every parent is on a journey of discovery.  Each child is a unique gift, and comes with both challenges and joys.  It can be hard to balance parenting with other obligations and yet, through it all, there is that desire to be a good parent, while not losing sight of all that you are as a person.

Kids aren't born properly socialized and a humorous, yet very true statement overheard once was "Parenting starts with labor for a reason"!  However, as a lot of parents will testify, parenting is certainly a "labor of love" and what is also true is parenting is also "sanctifying" and "Christ like" in regards to being willing to sacrifice for the love of another.  It's certainly something to keep in mind when struggling through the tough days and nights with the various issues our children face.  It is a word of comfort and strength, especially with the truth that God certainly gives us strength and "doesn't give us more than we can handle".  Of course there are the thoughts that "if only God didn't think I could handle this much"!  Despite any challenges or hardships you are facing with your child, the fact that you are going through these trials with your child, is reflective of the faithfulness Our Heavenly Father has for each one of us.  The wonderful truth of the matter is, God is with us through the struggles and the joys, guiding us every step of the way.

• What is God teaching you through your parenting ups and downs?

• What Special Issues are You Facing in Parenting your child(ren)?

• What are your goals as a parent?

• If you have a special needs child, how have you come to parent differently than what you had envisioned you would as a parent?

• What kind of supports do you have in parenting?  If you are lacking in supports, what kind of support do you need? 

• What kind of relationship do you have with your child(ren)?  

• What kind of parent do you want to be?

  
  
  As your Christian Life Coach, I will pray with you, actively listen, ask powerful questions, challenge and encourage you, as you discover how to become the best kind of parent God has called you to be for your child(ren) throughout their various stages of life. 
  
  

  Contact me and set up an appointment today and we can explore these and other parenting issues you may have in order that you can develop satisfying relationships with your children!  Sheilamh67@gmail.com

How can hiring a Life Coach help me?

To give you an idea of how a Life Coach can help you in your life, allow me to quote from Co-Active Coaching: New Skills for Coaching People Toward Success in Work and Life, by Laura Whitworth, Karen Kimsey-House, Henry Kimsey-House and Phillip Sandahl:

The most visible outcome of coaching is also the primary reason clients want coaching in the first place:  action.  Clients want change; they want to see results.  They want to move forward.  It is also true that "action" will look very different for different clients.  For some clients, it will mean achieving specific goals or performing at a higher level.  For others, action will mean integrating new practices or firmly establishing habits.  For still others, it will be paying attention to the more subjective quality of their lives.  In whatever way clients define "action," it will be a focus in their coaching.

 In co-active coaching, we would say that a second, complementary, and just as important outcome is learning.  What clients learn along the way helps them make continuously better choices and, ultimately, makes them more competent and more resourceful in the areas on which they concentrate in coaching.  In fact, it's this cycle of action and learning over time that leads to sustained and effective change.  Clients take action and learn, which leads to more action based on what they learned and the cycle continues.  Coaching is ideal for this process because the relationship is ongoing and is designed to focus on this inter-related pair.  All the coaching skills are used to forward the action and deepen the client's learning.

• What are some areas you are wanting to change?

•  Do you want to move forward but are not sure how?

•  Are you having trouble maintaining the changes you are trying to implement in your life?

• Think of the positive changes you can make with someone by your side, supporting you as you become more competent and resourceful in the choices you make.  

• How will life look for you 6 months or a year from now as you learn how to achieve the goals you have set for yourself and live a more fulfilling life? 

Contact me today and we can begin your journey toward fulfillment with a FREE trial coaching session!  E-mail me at Sheilamh67@gmail.com