Tuesday, April 16, 2013

A Different look at Parenting Special Needs Kids

We've been studying in our Essentials of Coaching class about "Mindset" in regards to the Internal Barriers we have that are obstacles to getting to the places we want to be in life.  Gary Collins, in Christian Coaching notes that,
most of our perspectives on the world and on life are subconscious, influential, and well entrenched.  Often they are accepted without question as attitudes that come from our parents or from other significant people...These are the running narratives that go on in our brains- the in-grained, self-talk ideas that shape our attitudes and impact our actions...
These attitudes exist from the beginning of coaching but usually stay hidden until one starts talking about change.  The coach and the person being coached need to look for them, challenge them, and replace them with different mind-sets, such as, "I'm capable especially if I have support," "The world is really an okay place." "If I try and I flub, people will still accept me," and "It doesn't matter what the people in my neighborhood think, I'm going to do it anyhow."
What has struck me when reflecting on this is how one's mindset, as a parent of a special needs child is influenced by the many voices heard throughout life.  It is easy to see how they "don't measure up" when compared to what is "normal" but really, so often, what I've noticed is how right on they are about a lot of the truly  important things in life.  The kids I know with special needs work really hard and have such a great attitude, that comes so naturally.  I recently saw this picture on my Facebook newsline that spoke volumes to me:

The neat thing is, the tendency is that kids with special needs judge others less than what they are judged themselves.  They live in the "now" and have so much to teach us by their genuine love and honesty.  They accept people for who they are and do a much better job at living out the truth that we are all made in the Image and Likeness of God and acting that way in return. 

  • Are you simply struggling through the day to day life with your special needs child and feeling as though you or they are "missing out"?
  •  What are you learning about yourself as a parent of a special needs child? 
  • What are your strengths/weaknesses?
  • What are some mindsets that you may need to adjust in order to fully enjoy your life and your children, despite the challenges?
  • What kind of support are you needing to help you overcome any obstacles you are facing, whether with your child's challenges, or simply navigating life as a parent and desiring more fulfillment for both of you in life?
  • What do you make of the quote in The Talmud, "We don't see things as they are; we see things as we are"?
  • How does your child with special needs make up a vital place in the Body of Christ?  
  • How can you support your child in their growth, while also looking at your own growth?

Let's take some time to discover together, the unique gift you have been given as a parent of a special needs child.  I would be honored to join with you as we explore where you are now as a parent; where you want to go; search out how to get to where you want to be, while surmounting any obstacles you encounter along the way. 

Contact me today for your free introductory session and let's see what possibilities await you and your child!  Call 208-966-4338 or e-mail sheilamh67@gmail.com.

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